Agree or disagree?

From my daily study, let me pose the question:
Woman are probably more aware of the appearance of other women than men are.
Agree or disagree?

As I was doing my study tonight- this question struck me... AGREE!  Can I write that any bigger??
Why is that?

We are aware of the beautiful people around us with great hair, a better figure, a nicer smile, whiter teeth, a better car, larger house, bigger boobs, smaller booty- whatever.... we as women notice and I think if we are not careful find ourselves in another woman's shadow.  We put ourselves there.

 Sadly, for me this is a struggle and I believe that for most of you- it is too.  Whether it is in our nature, or taught to us- we have a tendency to place ourselves in other women's shadow- constantly comparing and underscoring.  I remind my girls and myself that we all were beautifully and wonderfully made by a God that makes NO mistakes.  I am exactly who he wants me to be- let the peace in that wash over you!

Don't get me wrong- I am insecure in my insecurities... I hate admitting that this is a struggle for me.  I want to be the kind of woman and mom that lets God tend to my insecurities... Like Beth Moore said "let God heal our world torn souls and make us experience His security in our reality."

Be the beautiful you that I see!

Food for thought THIS day...


Today WON.

For the most part.

Juggling my child. I hate juggling him. Prioritizing him below meetings.

Not once, twice. Thank you friends who can keep him at the drop of a hat and let him play with microphones and birthday party bags and finches.

Ass chewings. We all need them. I just need them less than others because they make me cry. Thanks for taking it easy on me boss. And only dropping the "ST_UPID" word once.

45 minute grocery shopping to find that my wallet is not in my purse. At the checkout.

The option(s): go the eff home and retrieve the wallet.

On the drive home, funeral traffic.

We pulled over and talked about "why, why mama do we pull over?" Talked about Rudy T., about people who make a difference in other people's lives. How we hope to have just a fraction of that many people come to bid us farewell on our last day.

Haynes said "if you can count your friends on one hand, you are blessed."

We are blessed indeed. I mulled this over.

Back to the store. The manager had put our basket in the cooler for us.

And replaced our rotissere chicken with a fresh, new one.

Little gestures. Thank you. Why, yes, it was a huge pain in the ass to schlep a 4 year old across town to retrieve a wallet and spend 2 hours shopping as opposed to 45 minutes.

Whaddaya gonna do? Thank you black rimmed glasses floor manager man at Kroger. I really appreciate you.

A friend stopped while we were unloading groceries. You look great! You seem happy! Liar. Grumble. He helped. Even though I looked like hell in gym shorts and a pony tail and aviator sunglasses.

The dinner recipe?

Turned out fast and great.

IV proclaimed it "the best dinner ever" and also loved learning about chopsticks and how other countries use them instead of forks like us.

"It's tough being a woman" says Beth Moore in our Bible study. "It's Tough Being a Woman in Another Woman's Shadow."

That "other woman"? Some days, today, she was me.

It's TOUGH Being a Woman...

AMEN Haynes!

Before we start picking our female traits apart...I want to tell you a story.

I woke up this morning and saw an email from Haynes about us doing the study on Esther together and how she thought we should pick up the G-Tox blog again and use it to connect during the course. So I fired up my laptop to change our masthead and "freshen" things up a bit and...

Low and behold, she had already posted! Now THAT'S being beautiful, sensitive, read-your-mind, intuitive women! YAY!

My personal experience on being a woman very much mirrored what Erin wrote below...with a twist. Most of you know that I am a single mom, so much of my life is not only being the WOMAN, but being the MAN. I feel like, for the most part, I am a pretty capable person. I can hang pictures, I can mow a yard, I have a set of tools, I can rewire my dryer for a three-prong-plug (you heard that right!).

But...that doesn't mean I WANT to.

Ooooh and that hurts! It stings! Because the stubborn, independent side of me wants to have that "can do all" attitude. And it's not only directed at the man in my life, sweet JR, but sometimes also at God. Because those indignant traits rear their head and humility is no where around.

These are definitely things that I try to work on - being "OK" with asking for help...from JR, from God, from my parents.

This past Sunday, the reading discussed having a thirst for God's word, in good times AND bad. Not just one or the other. This resonated with me because I think all too often women try to take it all on - we are amazing, wonderful, CAPABLE creatures...but for me, I think the key is remembering that it comes from God. All these blessings, characteristics, strengths - AND WEAKNESSES - come from our Almighty God.

I can't wait to take this journey with Erin - girl, you have introduced me to something that has set my soul on fire and I love that we get to walk it hand in hand, even from a distance!

Esther: It is TOUGH being a woman

Can I get an AMEN?!?!
In the introduction to this study- Beth Moore posed the question
 "What are the 3 toughtest things about being a woman?" 
At first thought- easy enough... HORMONES, but upon further reflection there is so much more.  Yes I still think hormones is my #1, but it is how we are beautifully and wonderfully made.  It is our (womanly) difference from men.  We are meant to be emotional, sensitive, caring, nurturing, and sweet... this is not a "get out of jail free card" to be rude, mean insensitive, or down right hurtful... 
which leads me to my #2- BALANCE...
Hello- what woman, wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, working girl doesn't struggle with balance and feel like they are failing in one aspect.  It is just as Beth Moore said, 
It is TOUGH to be a woman.  
So many balls in the air... one does inevidably drop- but as I have learned and I am sure you have too... 
THE WORLD DOESN'T END like we think it will.

#3- I think is a blend of 1 and 2- we are our own worst enemies ladies... We are competitive, jealous, caddy, and hateful to on another. Most importantly, we are unforgiving.  How are we ever going to be comfortable in our own skins when we are so worried about what our friends or worse yet our frienemies will think, do, or heaven forbid say about us...
I am SO GUILTY of this.
So many times I have stewed over the way people perceive me, rather than how God SEES me.  Convicting huh?

Don't get me wrong- I have more that make it hard to be a woman- submission, jealousy, lack of understanding... the list goes on and on...and I am hoping to grow and know more as this Bible study unfolds in my living room.

I am blessed beyond words that Liz and I are doing this study together long distance.  I pray it opens our eyes and hearts to what God wants us to see and hear from HIS word, as well as opens the doors to friendships and closes doors to those that aren't of HIM.  I pray to be the kind of wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend that God would have me to be.  I want to be a model to Mattie and Hailey- of Godly woman in Godly relationships.  
Thank you Liz for encouraging me to start this study with you- may we enjoy being a women--together!


Get it Girl...

OK - so stage two has started for me and I feel like this is "real life G Tox" - wherein I am faced with real world eating habits and no longer have the crutch of "I"M ON A CLEANSE!" at the tip of my tongue. So, you know, application is the right word. Suck it up would be another choice.

For instance: this morning I joined a friend for breakfast and there was literally NOTHING on the menu that was cleanse friendly (not going to throw the establishment under the bus but...dang man, can't ya'll cook anything healthy?!). I opted for an egg white veggie omelette, knowing full well that eggs are not approved but you know what? I had to eat something. Best choice possible given the circumstances.

The things I can always control? Alcohol. Water intake. Supplements. The best choices possible.

I also have a bestie who is about to sign up for the G Tox, just waiting for all her supplements to come in. It gets me so FIRED UP to tell people about the cleanse, about how awesome they are going to feel, about the tricks of the trade, etc. This particular bestie really is looking for a weight loss option in addition to general health makeover...and I can't tell you how excited I am for her to reap the benefits of the G Tox.

Another note: HUGE snaps to my sweet friend Eliza Q., who holds me accountable constantly. We text and chat and review what we are eating, check in on one another and motivate each other. Good, bad, indifferent, we share the experience and it is SO helpful to not go at this alone. Sharing the experience and growing it together is part of what makes it so rewarding. So I definitely advise you to enlist a friend. They will talk you down when you realize you've been drooling over no bake peanut butter bars on Pinterest. Seriously.

Maintenance on the G Tox seems to be going well. The scale says so.

Here's to another 21 days!

The End is Near...

So, I'm on Day 19, two more days of G Tox left and maybe time for a little recap.

I feel incredible. Outside of the debacle called "Barcycle" on Sunday wherein I tried to die a slow vodka induced death on a golf cart in knee high St. Patrick's Day argyle socks.

Habits are a funny thing. My body is leaning on the G Tox method of eating and water and supplements and has become very much used to it. Expectant. It LIKES the G Tox.

MCH asked how much I've lost - it has been a total of 7 pounds. But it is a BIZARRE 7 pounds. It is in places I have never lost weight before - namely my stomach and lower body area. Belly fat, MCH claims.

I feel lighter. Slimmer. As slim as a self-proclaimed Kim Kardashian can feel, I think.

The lesson though is more than just shedding a few pounds for Spring Break (which is NICE, not gonna lie). It truly has been an exercise in modifying habits, seeing with eyes wide open the affect that FOOD has on your BODY. Emotionally, physically, everything is affected by food.

How nuts is that?!?

Day 22 is going to start a "modified" version, a Stage Two, if you will, on G Tox. I am going to continue my shakes and water, but with modified supplements provided by MCH. I would still like to shake a few more pounds off and I think the shakes really provide some structure for my day. I know a lot of G Tox-ers do NOT LOVE the shakes but, man, I must be adding crack to mine because they rock my little world.

The crack might explain the weight loss.


Gonna keep it up folks - loving some G Tox.